Old Things Pass Away…

I woke up in the middle of the night on January 29, 2018 hearing a quick list of thoughts being downloaded with urgency. It was like God was connecting all the dots, reminding me of the many things he’s taught me recently that I need to remember and perhaps share. I grabbed my phone and typed it all in as fast as it came. I’ve not altered the form or prettied it up. It began with….

  • If it feels as if the foundation of your life or all you are, the ground beneath you is shaking or breaking, that’s because you are standing on things you were not meant to stand on.
  • God is calling us all to his heart in different ways, separating us from all that would make us anxious
  • Many will be healed at this revelation because your load of life will be transferred or lifted off of you.
  • You will no longer struggle to forgive.
  • Peoples opinions will not be so important anymore.
  • Pressure will leave.
  • Manipulation will cease as will feelings of obligation.
  • God loves you just for who you are. He enjoys you.
  • You cannot hide from God, you must hide in God.
  • Happiness is freedom.
  • God is separating us from dependence on anything but Himself. We will love and serve one another out of peace and identity of our role in Christ.
  • We will feel an ultimatum in our lives in many areas.
  • “I just have to do it now!” Time is short. Conviction is knowing.
  • The obstacle in our life is our lifestyle, our belief system our way of clinging to things we won’t let go of… stubbornness… hanging on to things we thought would comfort us won’t feel good anymore… food, fixes, entertainment, money. All will fail to comfort.
  • There is an inner tension that feels like anxiety for some of us. It is you not letting go of something.
  • It may seem like things from your past are chasing you down or reappearing, even in dreams. Satan wants to remind you of your past, God wants you to find your future.
  • He remembers your sin no more. God laughed when I asked him to remind me of what I repented of –  he can’t.
  • God is replacing our fears with faith by bringing us home.
  • We can’t handle everyone else’s problems and it doesn’t feel like we need to anymore. Witchcraft and manipulation are not to be tolerated. If you feel people pulling on you, just declare, “I cut off all ties of witchcraft on my life.” Witchcraft is the attempt to get us into things we were not meant to be in via someone else’s will.
  • God’s reformation, his re-formation of you. You are free. No more tolerance of other people’s problems in the name of Love. Love doesn’t set down its identity for evil.
  • Separate camps can’t intermingle. Don’t get entangled in enemy affairs.
  • It is time to go forward in your unique calling. Others have to each face their own choices. You can love and give wisdom, but not own their issues or submit to those issues.
  • We can submit to authority and honor. Honor is key to advancement. Honor is love and dying to self.
  • Self says I don’t have time. Honor makes time.
  • I offer you what I have from the overflow, I don’t give what is beyond that. I don’t give from what I need to stand on, taking chunks out of my own foundation and making myself weaker. Jesus went to a quiet place to rest.

Finding Rest in the Storm

Life sometimes feels like a storm swirling around us! Doesn’t it?  People tug at us from all sides. Needs pull us in different directions. In the midst of this we try to find rest, the sweet spot we were made to live from.  This is a time when we have to find that sweet spot and know how to return to it at any moment. Often we have to carry it with us so we can just return to it in our minds and get clarity!  It’s is where we practice this verse, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Home is a should be a place we return to when we want to feel like we can be ourselves. A place where we belong.  It’s not aways where we live, sometimes its a different sort of place.

There is one place I really feel at home. There is one place that when I go there, I know I will face no rejection. It’s a place where I feel known. Where I’m not just loved in spite of who I am, but I’m loved because of who I am. Isn’t this what home should feel like?

Over the course of my life I’ve needed to go there so many times. When there was chaos in my life, I’d run away in my mind and go home. It’s my life pattern, I’d choose to run away to this place. Once you’ve been there, once you’ve tasted of the food and sunk deep into the atmosphere, you’ll be hooked.

You don’t have to be afraid of anything there, because it is where Perfect Love lives. It’s where I meet with my Father God. When I get there, his perfect love always casts out fear.

John 15 reads, “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is who bears much fruit. ..If you abide in me and I in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love.

This is my home. It’s where I’m my best self. It’s where I can be real. Often I’ve gone when I needed to get perspective. My Father always opens the door when I knock, and I’ve never gone at a time when he’s been busy with something else and made me wait. I guess I must be important to him. Maybe I’m his favorite kid. I’m not sure it could be true, because he has so many kids he loves, but he makes feel that way, like I’m his favorite and often, I feel like I don’t deserve it. I don’t.

But He reminds me that I didn’t have to qualify to be in this place by my actions.

He’s let me go my own way, and I’ve done that in moments, years, and short seasons over the course of my life. Have you? Sometimes is has ended in tragedy and there have been some near misses too! I wish I’d learned to not wander sooner. I fought a lot of shame and condemnation because of that, but it wasn’t because my Father put it on me. He said he took care of that long ago. He never reminded me of my sin. I guess he forgot about it.

Seeds of Complacency Dull Our Faith

Some of us need to reclaim our thoughts for God. There are minor infractions that we have permitted. These are the seeds of the enemy in the fertile soil of our mind that have sprouted, and those sprouts, even when small, pollute our faith. When allowed to take root, they remove our ability to stand against the enemy.

I want no mindset to limit God’s work through me and no mindset make way for the enemy. I prayed, “Show me where my faith is polluted!” I realized I had missed something he had been regularly showing me, answering before I had asked. This came to my rememberance. When praying for people, I would ask the Lord what he wanted me to know as I started. A picture of a beach ball would flash through my mind on a regular basis. It drove me nuts! It didn’t seem to apply to most of the people I was praying with them but came before all other words. I would push it aside most of the time and ask for another picture.

One day in my quiet time, I made a point of getting the beach ball out and said, “OK, just let me know what’s going on with this beach ball.” This is the story that played in my mind. I was sitting on the beach. It was a lovely, sunny day and two little boys were playing in the sand with a beach ball, tossing it back and forth. There was a seagull flying low and overhead and swooping over the boys. I was comfortable on the warm sand and observing this pesty seagull, but didn’t feel like getting up to shoo it away. After that thought, from the right side, a huge nasty monster appeared and was walking toward the kids. I stood up and looked at it. “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked.

“Let me me by!” It exclaimed.

“No,” I said calmly. “You have no authority here. Do you want to test me?” It backed down and left. I sat down on the beach again.

Here’s what the Lord showed me. “Don’t tolerate even the smallest work of the enemy.” There are things that the enemy is doing in our midst that seem small and pesty and we tolerate them. We put them in the little nuisance box that we can conquer ourselves if we need to, but they are still the work of the enemy. We have excuses for not standing up against them, but that gives the enemy an “in”, power to destroy and the great enemy, dullness, can creep in. When we get dull, we fail to cut as quickly between truth and lies and the enemy gets a foothold in our life. There are things we tolerate because they don’t seem like a big enough threat, like the seagull over the children. I knew the seagull could pop that ball, but instead of acting on the children’s behalf to prevent disaster. I resorted to thoughts of how likely it was that that would happen. Was it a big enough threat? Was it worthy of me getting up and standing against it?

The question I believe the Lord was asking me was, how much of the enemy’s activity will I tolerate, because “a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” (Galatians 5:9)

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery….7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9 “A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.” 10 I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty. 11 Brothers and sisters, if I am still preaching circumcision, why am I still being persecuted? In that case the offense of the cross has been abolished. 12 As for those agitators, I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves!

This brought me to thoughts of the Good Shepherd. How does the Shepherd, Jesus, take care of the sheep?

  • He keeps watch over them so they don’t fear.
  • He anoints their head with oil so no thin is allowed to enter any cavity and distract or burrow in. Anointing oil repulses the enemies of sheep (nits).
  • He puts protection around the perimeter so they sleep with no fear.
  • The sheep are at rest when they are with Him and He never leaves them, so they live in constant oversight.
  • His body is the gate. He senses danger and fights it off for us, the sheep who dwell inside. We remain at rest while He does this.

Lord, I thank you for the peace of God, because it passes all understanding. It keeps my heart and my mind at rest so I can hear your voice and recognize your authority over my enemies. There is no predator you would allow to enter the sheep pen you are guarding. While I sleep, you guard my life. While I’m awake, you keep watch. Thank you for that peace and understanding now. Come and refresh me in this truth. I receive your help and love your protection. In all things, you are working for my good, even when I don’t know it, even while I sleep. I can trust you with my life. Amen.

 

11:11 It’s Time to Awaken! Come Awake!

God has been displaying the number 11 to me for months. I believe God speaks in any way we’re available to listen. I have seen this number over and over when I check the time, and in many other references and odd randomness – and often it is 11:11. I’ve been asking for the significance of it and watching for answers, discarding many.   It’s been LOUD and the revelation of it is a timing issue.

So, this morning- I flipped opened my Bible and saw I was in chapter 11 of John. I felt drawn to stop on the page, and thought to check verse 11.

John 11:11
These things He said, and after he said them, “Our friend Lazaraus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him.”

…. our friend sleeps… but I go that I may wake him..

It is time to AWAKEN as part of a big awakening that God has planned.

I have a picture of those who need healing of identity and everything else that masters them because they don’t know who they are. I see lines of people coming to our church and also a front line of people who need to be ready to minister to them, those God is awakening. It will be according to your own unique identity and gifting. I pray many move out of the line of need and into the line of powerful ministry.  You may be feeling opposition this week as the enemy is scrambling to discouraged. He has hit many with fatigue and fear. Press forward and fast if you need to. Just a few meals skipped say to the enemy, “No, I’m not bowing to the opposition.” It will bring also bring clarity to your mind.

I knew my mindset had some cobwebs that had to go to make my ministry line move more quickly and powerfully, without complexity. I’ve been BURDENED – wanting people free, alive and whole – faster, to get a full Jesus experience when they came to me, and to everyone else.

Last week, His answer to me was “John 12” where I read of the plot to kill Lazarus. Lazarus was such a crazy obvious testimony for Jesus that his mere presence made the Pharisees want to kill him. Dead, not dead..….and it was bringing many to Jesus, whenever they saw him. Grace is the power to live again – FREE!

We, too, are to be living testimonies like this.

The awakening…

About two months ago, in pre-service prayer at our church, I heard “Shake me to wake me” over and over and had a vision of the ground shaking under the people sitting on chairs in the church. Ropes dropped and they had to hang onto them, because the ground under them, the structure of what they knew, was going to fall away. God would drop a direct connection to Himself, a “lifeline”. It would be all they had to hold on to. I would hear this three times in the next 24 hours and I began to cry out to God – Awaken me, wake me up!

We can hear of Jesus and believe but a resurrection experience is the key to freedom. How did Jesus free Lazarus ? Jesus said to Lazarus “Come out!” and then “Unbind him!” I went into a vision of Lazarus and the unbinding process in the blog below, but when Lazarus was done, he had no contamination stuck to him; he no longer wore the clothes of the old man, what He died of. He arose healed.

This is the awakening.

John 11:9-10 “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.”

John 12:46 “I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not walk in darkness.” – they should not remain bound.

Who is this speaking to?

Why the book of John? – John is “the one Jesus loved”. Lazarus was one he loved as well. You are the ones Jesus loved. He’s speaking about the awakening of the church, his friends and servants, at this time. The old is passing away, behold, all things are becoming new. This is why I think John 11:11 resonates as the 11:11 that matters.

Lazarus already knew Jesus, but he would come to life in a new way! You may already have experienced this, or you are going to if you are seeking it. Then you too will be a crazy testimony for Jesus, dead to all that is old, unbound from all the things of the past and awakened to your identity in a no-doubt way. Doesn’t it sound powerful!. It’s a black and white mindset that just does in obedience and isn’t double minded. Lazarus could not doubt that he was dead, and no one, himself included, could doubt that he was alive. He was a living testimony by his existence. This is what we are to be and are. It’s not a new message for some, but it is timely for many.

Greater things we will do because of the Holy Spirit in us… it’s time to arise my friends! When we get it, we can cast the vision for new believers, for broken saints, and represent the resurrection like it was made to be presented – with zeal and power and with love that flows through our eyes, piercing into the souls of men.

That is freedom.

(Earlier this week, I was longing to feel awakened and cried out “God, what do I need to know?” He said, John 12. I received a revelation as I read it about shaking off our grave clothes. It is the next post. Do you need to experience an awakening of your identity. The next post will be the Lazarus experience God led me through in prayer.  It may help you shake off the mindsets of the old man and walk into the new.) 

(

(

Bless you all, and may life well up within you today as hope fills your hearts,

Do you want peace?

I woke up worshiping the Lord this morning, reflecting on all the great things I heard Him do yesterday through my friend’s life. Not feeling any particular need, I asked God, “What question today Father?” I heard, “Do you want peace?” “Yes,” I quickly replied. I was in a moment of peace, so I knew that the peace I currently had was not what the Lord was referring to. It was perfect timing to let God stir more in my heart in this area and I opened my mind to receive and understand what it meant. I heard the verse, “My peace I leave with you, MY peace I give to you, not as (in the way) the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither be afraid.”

Lord, I thank you for YOUR peace. For the gift of peace, that it is completely different than a momentary bit of sanity. It’s far beyond things going right for us, it’s rooted in faith. Peace comes through faith.

I realized that although I could think of nothing to ask, through that question, “Do you want peace?” I was still guilty of the sin of unbelief. There can be no place for this to hide in my life. God’s peace is “not as the world gives”, so where did I lack that? Unrest comes when there are areas of conflict between what is true and what is false. Only God is pure truth. There can be no reliance, or faith in, the things of the world because peace does not come through that. Perfect peace passes understanding. It is joy and life. It hopes all and believes all. I thought of a time as a kid when I was on a bus trip and I noticed the cows in the field. I made some simple observation about how content the cows must be since they don’t need to deal with winter in this state and was ridiculed for noticing such seemingly ridiculous things. I’m sure it was not meant maliciously, but it was the reaction of the world and it disturbed my peace.

How many times have I let others’ opinions have input into my life, when their opinions were not based on the peace that comes from God? Too many. I’ve even received advice that seems wise, but it not God’s perfect way, and I asked God to pull out every one of those thoughts so I can live clearly in abundant life, as He wills for  me. Anything we receive that is not from the mouth of Jesus can decrease our faith if we are not careful to guard our  mind.

Lord, pull out every root of unbelief and untruth in my life and overturn every thought that has not been yours. Let your life and your own words be my “how to” manual for life. You have riches for us in peace and peace comes through faith. I have valued things that you find worthless and mixed your truth with my experience. It has lowered my effectiveness and dimmed the reflection of you in me, infecting others. Forgive me Lord. I will have no more of it and I pray for all reading this, that they will have no more of it either.

There is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death – death in our faith, and death in our faith leads to sickness, poverty, and it is doubt in general. I thank you that I dwell in you and declare you as my guide. (I have an awesome spirit guide.)  I thank you Lord, for pointing out that even when I feel at peace, it needs to be a peace that remains – always – consistently – abiding in my soul because I abide in you and am rooted in your Being.

I drew a line in the sand before myself this morning to repent of all unbelief and crossed it. What an awesome question. “Do you want peace?” Is the Lord not more wise than we imagine every day?! He knows what we need to understand and long for. I’ve been soaking in John 15 this month and this is what it speaks of, remaining IN Him, especially in my mind. This brings peace. So, “Yes Lord” I want peace. I want peace so that John 15:7-8 will be evident to all though my life. “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so PROVE to be my disciple.” – Let that be my next journey of growth, Father. Lord, help me and heal every wound of unbelief that would take me out of peace. Let my feet follow your steps.

I ask forgiveness from all who have been affected by my unbelief, in any way that I did not look like Jesus when you spoke to me, or met me, or when I prayed for you. I am sorry, and I pray that you will not only meet someone who looks like him, but become so like Him yourself that unbelief runs when you walk in the room because it will be exposed by your near presence. I pray that I will look more like Him from now on. Keep me simple Lord. Let it be. Amen.

Time is Short – As anyone felt a shaking of all that they have known?

Earlier this week, while praying, I saw a picture in my mind. It was a big creature rising out of the sea and heard in my head “The beast will rise out the sea and try to reclaim his people.” I looked the words up on the internet and it matched the beginning of Revelation 13:1. “And I saw the beast rising out of the sea, with ten horns….and to it the dragon gave his power and his throne and his authority… here is a call for the endurance and faith of the saints.” (ESV)

The last part of what I heard was different “The beast will rise out of the sea and try to reclaim his people.” As I asked for wisdom, these thoughts developed. The chapter talks about authority being given to the beast by the dragon. Authority was given to Jesus by God. It’s like an evil parallel. Satan fell because he was prideful and wanted the worship of man. Revelation 13, a perfect counterfeit of what Jesus came to do. The picture drawn out for us in Revelation 13 is one of unity of worship for the “beast”. It is also a twisted parallel to John 17, where Jesus prays for unity in the church, that all might believe. “.. and all who dwell on the earth will worship it, everyone whose name has not been written before the foundations of the world in the book of life of the Lamb who was slain.” In non-churchy language, it means that all who have not signed up to follow Jesus (the Lamb) are following a different god, this beast.

Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and life.” Anything else is not the way, thus of the enemy and corruption. Knowing the identity of the one who gives the power will take the practice of discernment. This doesn’t mean fearing signs and wonders, it means that the people of God will need to be filled with the Spirit and be able to test the spirits.

It seems that the enemy will trying to look like what the church should look like to deceive people. In these last days, the beast is rising out of the sea setting up his last ditch efforts to rule and reign because he knows his time is short.

Time is short. Today I was led to 2 Peter.  The heading I found there was “The Day of the Lord Will Come.”  It read “…you should remember the predictions of the holy prophets an the commandment of the Lord and Savior though your apostles, knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires. They (the scoffers) will say ‘Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation…But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord, one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

God wants all to be saved, but the time is coming when there will be no more waiting. There is a sense of urgency in the hearts of many. It’s amazingly unified. God has been speaking in unison in so many and I’m meeting them. We’re sharing the stories of what God has been speaking to us. There are common dreams and visions. For those who weren’t raised in the church I want to define a few terms the way they are commonly thought of in scripture:

perish – die without knowing Jesus, thus not gaining eternal life in heaven with the Father. Hell wasn’t made for man, but for the fallen angels. The fallen angels want to draw man to their own destruction so they entice them continually to follow the way of sin. Man is giving in left and right and choosing destruction. God’s heart is merciful and he has been patiently delaying so that more could have a chance to come to believe. Loving God is a choice because love is not forced, it must be of our own free will. God chooses to love us, he doesn’t have to and we are made in His image, so we have the same privilege. God’s heart breaks because his children don’t all love him, thus they choose to perish.

repentance – This literally means turning 180 degrees. Changing direction completely. It is submitting to God, turning to Him and saying, “take me and lead me” and letting go of your own life so He can teach you a better way. It means letting go of sin. We can’t do this on our own, but when we ask for help, God is right there to give us a helper, his own Spirit comes to live inside of us and we receive supernatural help and guidance. It is power to change. That process is called grace.

Back to 2 Peter 10. I can’t express adequately how God is impressing upon those who already know him that Jesus is returning to this earth soon. Those who are going on with life as usual and saying, “Oh, they’ve been saying that for 2,000 years. Why is it any different now?” need to read 2 Peter again because God is impressing it like a stamp in ink in the hearts of those who pray.  He reveals his secrets to his friends who follow him, just as Jesus said he did with the original disciples. I have heard from several friends that they have had dreams waking them up and visions that have revealed this time as very important, just as I have had that caused alarm in their spirits.  This is the message “Jesus is coming back soon and we need to be ready.”

For some of us, that means it’s time to get bolder. I pray that wherever we go, we will notice the dullness and the lifeless state of the people around us. They are HUNGRY for something more and you have that to offer them in Christ. Tell them! I am telling myself this daily.

“Awake O sleeper from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” Many are asleep and need a wake up call. Many in the church are asleep and need a wake up call. God is shaking the ground under the church for a massive wake up. I saw a vision during pre-service prayer at our church of the ground shaking under the chairs. Ropes fell for each person from the sky for them to hang on to. I believe God was saying, “I am going to shake the foundations of the church, of all that is known, and you will have to hang onto Me and Me alone for your lifeline. Nothing will stand out of true relationship with me.”

All that has not been of him will be shaken loose in these days so that people can see what the church is supposed to look like: unified, holy, and powerful.  Jesus prayed this for us while he was still here and, since he is unchanging, he is still praying it in heaven. Here are his words,

“As you have sent them into the world, so you have sent me into the world. ” (As, meaning just as. When something is “as” it is like something else. We are to be sent in the manner of Christ, looking like him, doing what he did, re-presenting him and all that he was.) “..that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one. I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly oneso that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as I love them.

Why do you think the devil has worked so hard to bring division? Because he does everything opposite of the Father. He is the cacophony of church splits. Where there is division, there is noise and disorder. Let the ropes drop down over the shaking church and let those in it hang on for their lives because God is shaking the ground we have stood on as ours. It is his ground. The Church is his and he is reclaiming it.  Rev. 13:8 says that all who do not have faith in Jesus will fall into this trap. God has been patient with us but now is the time to speak. Church, repent of division. Grab the rope and start asking God, “Break my heart for what breaks yours.”  He will bless you with his heart and it will mend the church.

For those who have been hurt by Christians in the church… read tomorrow’s post.

God hasn’t been slow to keep his promises. He’s diligent and faithful. He’s let the world see the consequences of our choices so that we can know that a world without God is chaos, disorder and destruction. “Come to me,” he calls, “I will give you rest.”  The time is short and their is a real God who will really judge the world. If we surrender our lives to Jesus, we have no fear and new life starts today! You walk into a relationship that protects you, guides you and fills the emptiness inside. You won’t need drugs anymore, no liquor. None of that will compare to the joy that comes through surrender from Jesus. It is time to know Him.  He’s holding out his hand, a rope for you to hang onto. Grab it and say, “Lord, I need you.  Jesus, show me who you are.”

Good Friday – The Deepest Love for the Deepest Loss

His depth of love…I know how far from it I am, how remote my understanding of love and sacrifice is. I take the easy way out. I limit myself to what I can feel comfortable with. What kind of comfort zone was the cross!?

I am the worst of sinners.

I look upon the agony of Jesus, nailed to a cross, blinded by sweat and swollen tissue, pain shooting through every nerve of his back as he felt the rough wood contact the open festering wounds. There was no Band-Aid for this moment, only raw pain. What pain hurt him most?

Perhaps it was His depth of love for a creation lost. Taunts, jeers, tears and torment filled his day, but He stayed there because He was one in nature with the Father. He chose to go on, to do this hard thing. I can only wonder at such love, and crave to have it. Yet when I do, I know how far from it I am, how remote my understanding of love and sacrifice is. I take the easy way out. I limit myself to what I can feel comfortable with. What kind of comfort zone was the cross!?

Oh how wretched, poor, blind and naked I am in the midst of my gracious surroundings. I see His eyes looking at me with longing and I realize the depth of my sin. Love like this is not normal, yet He asks me to love like Him.

On my knees, on my face, I feel the conviction, the painful knowledge of how far short I will fall of this example. I see the kindness of a Savior who disregarded my cold heart to reach out to me, to break the barriers of what love toward me could look like. I struggle to understand, but know how short I fall. I am supposed to look like Him? …Oh Lord, I am dust compared to royalty. What do I do with this scandalous grace, this heart of love that is mine to inherit. I let myself further absorb the moment of conviction and find transforming humility cloaking me like a garment.

There is so much more love to extend. Miles more grace to walk in. People to embrace that I have passed by and hope to release where no one has noticed. Hanging there, bloody and oxygen-starved, writing in pain from the exposure of raw nerve endings rubbing spikes in his hands and feet, Jesus noticed me.

As I kneel before him in my spirit, I hear, “Forgive them. They know not what they do.”