Receiving Healing Testimony for the Overthinker

Wednesday night we have weekly prayer meetings for our church expansion movement. The team God has gathered is so diligent in seeking God and so hungry for his will to be done on earth. At the end the meeting we have a time for any last requests or personal needs. In the last week, I had encountered a dizzy spell in the middle of the night that was pretty disturbing and led me to nausea.
In the following days, my head continued to feel fuzzy and I could feel pressure on the top and on my forehead. I was trying to ignore much of the distraction of it, but felt I should speak up at the end of the meeting and ask for prayer.
This team of a few surrounded me and prayed vehement prayers of faith. Their hands were on my head and I was feeling the pressure of their zeal as I tried to hold myself up. I felt a unique sense of safety, much like I was in the sheep pen with many shepherds. I felt my own walls to come down, walls that keep me moving forward when I need to push through things, walls of “my own faith” that I use persevere for myself. As the prayers continued in earnest around me, I closed my eyes and saw outside of the circle. Jesus was standing in the back of them, bright, white and much taller than these people, and I heard him say with a sweet voice as he gazed over them, “See?.. see how much they love me?”
“Awww, I do Jesus. I see it.” My heart was warmed. My thoughts were not on what I was going to receive in prayer, but on the loveliness of this little group as  Jesus and I watched these people who were pouring their hearts out to him on my behalf. “See how much the love me,” he said again with a smile. We loved them together as they prayed for me.  He didn’t talk about my healing or my situation. He didn’t need to. That wasn’t a big issue for him. It was no more than picking up a scrap of paper on the floor during a more important conversation. It was about me noticing something more long lasting, a teachable moment for me. He reached out and right through them like they were transparent and he was solid. I don’t know which one he reached through. It truly didn’t matter.
I realized he just stands behind the one who prays. To receive, we must fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. His hand reaches out to heal.
These were certainly faith filled prayer servants, but what Jesus saw was their heart of love for Him as they served me. They cared about what He cared about. It was Jesus who answered my prayers, and those in front of him were simply the ones he reached through. Many of us who are seeking healing fall into a trap of looking for the person with the “most faith” to pray for our situation, but in my experience, it is often the ability of a person to look past the one praying, who is the tool, to Jesus as the healer. This is such a relief! I attend a Vineyard church and a motto of the Vineyard is “Everybody gets to play.” No one sits on the sidelines. Love and willingness are the most important qualifications for effective ministry. Perfection didn’t move the heart of Jesus, love did.
I am thankful for this moment because of the clarity of understanding that God shows no partiality, he is no respecter of persons. It isn’t about special training or age or experience, it’s about persevering together in prayer until God has seen and feels ready to reach through. I saw that Jesus was not waiting for them to say the perfect thing. Sometimes we give up when we don’t see a quick answer, but perhaps many times Jesus is standing there enjoying the process of faith filled prayers saying, “See how much the love me?” I do, Jesus. I do. I see a church that loves you, who reaches out to the hurting and just prays in faith knowing you are good and have help available. I love them too. I want to take time to enjoy that with you.
I am thankful that because I am part of the body of Christ, the connected people joined by His Spirit, I am never alone, never unloved and never abandoned. There is no lack and no need he will not reach through people who love him to meet. Lord, I receive what you have for me in the name of those who you send. Thank you.
The next morning, the pressure in my head was gone and the dizziness has not returned.

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